Chemo Session #1

Well, here we go!  Session number one.  Eric and I both dropped Julia off at school earlier than usual.  As I left her, one of her teachers handed me a bag with the softest, cream colored blanket inside of it.  I thanked her a lot (I LOVE BLANKETS!!) and she had tears welling up in her eyes and said, "I was Julia.  I was Julia because my mom went through exactly what you're going through.  I started welling up and hugged her.  It's amazing how those women in that school have rallied around us, and more importantly Julia.  I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that your only baby is being taken care of, and well.  And that in these rougher waters, she has an oasis. 

Her teacher sent me this photo and said that Julia said that she was feeling, "extra snuggly."

We arrived to the cancer center around 8:15 and did my vitals.  The nurse asked, "Is this your first treatment?"  I said yes, and she was surprised.  She said, "You seem so calm!" I said, "Well, might as well go after it, right?  You gotta do what you gotta do."  Then I went back to see Dr. U.  It was a quick visit, but before he walked me back he said, "Well, after today you'll be a quarter of the way through!"  Then Eric said, "You're halfway, halfway done!"  Dr. U said he liked that and was gonna use that one in the future instead. 

Then we got to the chemo room, and since I was a first timer, got placed in a private room next to the nurses station.  Perk: you get a tv.  My nurse was great and I liked her a lot.  But what I feared came true. 

Dr. U was against getting a port surgically placed in my chest since I'm only doing 4 sessions, and said we would just do it through the IV.  But I know I have terrible, fragile veins.  Because they took a lymph node two years ago, I've always been told to do my blood pressure and any IVs or blood draws on my right arm, which is limiting.  They tried 5 different times on my left hand, to no avail.  It's painful each time you do it.  My left hand looks like a connect the dots page.  Eric said he was getting upset, and so was I.  When someone pokes you and digs around 4 different times, irritability sets in.  Finally they called a third person in to try, and they asked Dr. U if they could use my left arm and he said yes.  Finally, after 30 minutes of this, the new nurse got it in on the first try.  I guess sixth time's a charm!


After we finally got the IV in.  Eric said, "Only you would smile for this picture."

So we were finally on our way.  The first bag was an anti-nausea med, then a flush.  Then it was the first med which is the Taxotere, which took an hour.  Then a short flush, then the second bag, the Cytoxan, which was another hour. 

During that time, Eric and I watched The Price is Right!  We also had many visitors.  First a few volunteers who are "Faces of Hope" because they have all been through similar paths.  They are there to talk or not, or bring you any juice or snacks, blankets, or pillows.  Then the hospital chaplain came in and we all chatted for a while, and then we all prayed together.  Then my dad came with Portillos, and my mom eventually met us during her lunch hour.  We had a good time chatting and watching Wheel of Fortune. 


Gotta have your Portillo's.

 

Eric picked this up at the snack table.  I told him he should have proposed with this.  He said he wished he would've known that.

Towards the middle of the second bag (the Cytoxan) I started getting this odd pain in my sinuses and behind my eyes.  It was hard to describe.  Also, they warned me that everything would taste like metal, but I didn't realize that side effect would rear its ugly head so instantaneously.  This was me:

We stopped on the way home to pick up a few items at the store that we had forgotten, and then came home to rest.  I was happy to get to my computer and crank out a bunch of emails and work for a few hours before we had to pick up Julia.  I was feeling a bit nauseous and weak, but ok. 

 

Chance, Sense and Sensibility (my favorite movie when I'm sick), and my new, aforementioned blanket!

Then Julia got home and as the night grew on I got sleepier and sleepier.  I told Julia I needed to lie down, and she said, "Well I don't want you to lie down!"  (She gets upset when I'm not 100%) So I said, "Well mommy doesn't feel well, so I need to rest so I feel better." So she said, "Oh, well I have a cold, so I need to lay under the blanket and rest with you."  I happily obliged.

 

 

 

By 7:00 I could barely keep my eyes open, but I pushed to 8:00 so I could take an anti-nausea med.  My nurse had told me to set an alarm for 3:00am to make sure I got up to go to the bathroom to flush my system.  I woke up before the alarm at 2:30am and then couldn't fall asleep for the life of me.  I was feeling sick and took another anti-nausea med.  I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't stop thinking and the nausea didn't help.  I ended up ordering some photos at Meijer online and watching Friends. I finally fell asleep around 4 for about an hour.  Then I was up again and then it was time to shower.  I was absolutely planning on going to work today, but then it got messy, literally. 

 

I got in the shower, and it was starting to hit me hard.  Then I heard Julia come in and said she had to go potty.  I stopped my shower, and she announced that she had peed all over the toilet.  At this point, I was about to lose it.  Eric was in his bathroom, and we share a wall, so I banged on it, and said, "I need your help!"  So here I am, sopping wet, wrapped in a towel, about to throw up.  Julia is on the toilet, pee all over, pants down.  Eric picks her up, wipes up the pee, and took her into her room to change.  I shut the door, lift the toilet seat, and hang out there for a while.  Luckily, I didn't throw up. 

 

But I was nervous that with that combination of nausea and the weakness, I didn't think I'd make the long drive to work.  So I decided to play it on the safe side, especially because this is the first time and I don't know how the days will play out.  I've started a journal for each day, and have written down the symptoms I experience and then rate them on a scale of 1-5.  That way I can keep track of any patterns and remember for the next sessions.  Today I've spent my morning working which is good.  So I'm happy about that. 

 

I've also definitely noticed the lack of appetite the nurse warned me about.  I usually snack all day and eat lunch as early as 11:00. Today I had a small bowl of cereal, and by 1:00, I hadn't eaten anything else.  I didn't even feel hungry, but my stomach was growling up a storm.  So I had some pretzels and cheddar cheese.  Then I just had cottage cheese and pineapple.  So the grazing is happening.  Today is also a day where my mother-in-law is home with Julia, so she's been helping me and is cooking homemade chicken noodle soup as we speak!  It's smelling great!  Maybe the appetite is coming after all.  We'll see how tomorrow goes.