Chemo Prep and Wig Woes

Well, it's been a sobering few days. 

Tuesday I went in for my chemo education hour with a nurse.  She was great.  My mom and Eric came with so they could hear everything, too.  She went over all of the side effects and how to treat each one.  After we were done I said, "So basically I have to keep everything wet."  Yes.  Behold:

-I need KY Jelly  or nose spray for my nose because it will dry out.
-I need Vicks to put on my nails and cuticles every night because my nails could flake.
-I need to put lotion on all over my body 2 times a day.
-I need chapstick for my lips.
-I need mouthwash to keep from getting sores and dry mouth.
-I need to push fluids and drink a minimum of 64 oz. a day (bonus, ice cream counts)

Additionally, I need to get plastic utensils (sorry, Mother Earth) because silverware makes all food taste like tin.  I should also get peppermints to ease my stomach. 

Tomorrow, I'm going to Meijer.  The pharmacy is going to love me. 

Then she showed us the room where they administer the chemo.  It's quite nice!  They have private rooms, semi-private rooms, and chairs just out in the open area.  They have TV's, seats that overlook a fountain, and my favorite, tables with jigsaw puzzles!!  I love me a puzzle.  They also have snacks but you can bring your own.  The atmosphere was communal.  Like a dorm, if that makes any sense. 

I met a few of the nurses and I had a feeling I would soon be buddies with them.  One of them then administered my Zoladex injection, which is the one that will protect my ovaries.  I have to get that once a month.  She put an ice pack on my stomach to numb the area and told me not to look at the needle because it's thicker than most.  I took her advice.  The ice pack helped though.

Overall, it wasn't too bad of a day, and I'm always happy to have education to prevent from filling in the blanks with negative thoughts.

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Today was more disappointing.  I had an appointment to visit the wig boutique and get a wig.  I was happy my mom was coming along with me, and I was actually really excited for it, because I thought it'd be fun to try different looks.  I stupidly forgot one major piece of the puzzle though.  I'm less than 5% of the population of women diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 40.  (Hello, blog title.) 

I walked in and was happy to see that the volunteer was probably around my age and had a nose ring.  (I was jealous.  I've been wanting one myself!)  She had me fill out some standard paperwork, and then gave me a small magazine and told me to look through and pick out ones I liked for her to pull, but said she couldn't promise that she'd have all of them.

I kind of smiled when I saw that each of the wigs had a girl's name.  Clever.  As I searched through and looked at each picture, I thought, "No...no...nix...that looks like a mullet...no..."  Then that's when my heart sank, and the stat reared it's ugly head.  Not many people my age are in this spot, so it would make sense that not many wigs are made for my demographic.  And no offense to my older sisters out there, but the magazine was like looking at a Golden Girls wig line. 

First she had me try on wigs for color purposes alone.  I wanted to stay with brown and I ended up going with medium brown.  It had a richer color with more dimension.  Then we went on to style.  I gave her three wigs I liked, but she only had one of them.  It was also tough because the wigs were mainly grey or blonde, and it was hard to get past the color and imagine what it would look like in a brown. 

My mom wanted me to try this one on.  We both agreed it was a no.  But now I can see what I look like with grey hair! I thought I looked like Chetna (below) from The Great British Bake Off!

I ultimately went with a wig named Melissa.  My mom thought it was a little too formal because it has curls in it, but when I put bobby pins in it, it looked nice.  I also liked that I could put it in a ponytail.  The volunteer also said I could take the wig and get it trimmed a bit to take some of the length off and trim the bang however I wanted to.  She also said that it looked a little funny because I had so much hair underneath right now, but that once my hair is gone it will fit better and not pucker at the top. 

The wig I chose as pictured in the catalogue.  As I look at it, it kind of reminds me of Mandy Moore in the early 2000's.

 

UGH.  Me trying to grin and bare it.  I can't get past the blonde. 

I figured I'd better check my demeanor.  I didn't want the volunteer to feel like I was ungrateful.  It wasn't that at all, and she was lovely.  I think I just went in with too high of expectations.  I mean, the wig is free from the American Cancer Society.  So many people work to raise money to go to things like this.  Beggars can't be choosers.  I figure, fingers crossed, it will come in the color I chose and it will look better and all come together. 

So feeling somewhat defeated, I went to pick up Julia from school.  I should have known that would make me feel better.  I got there earlier than usual, so Julia was in the middle of her snack.  One of her teachers invited me to eat snack with her and said, "Julia, why don't you show mommy where we wash our hands."  Julia was so cute.  She acted like I was a guest in her home.

She turned the water on and said, "Here, mommy.  Wash your hands first.  This is where you do that."  I washed my hands, then walked over to where the snack was and she narrated the whole time.  "Here, mommy.  First you put a napkin down on your plate."  She then scooped fruit into a bowl for me and said, "The berries are very juicy."  Then she said we got 6 Nilla Wafers, and counted them out.  Finally, she lovingly poured me a glass of water.  It was so nice to be doted on! 

So Tuesday, I report to battle.  But at least I know I have an army of supporters behind me, including my smallest one.  And for that, I am truly grateful.